


It's Not Something But It Could Be

by WillowOdair



Category: Before We Go (2014)
Genre: Epilogue, F/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-29 00:30:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21145763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillowOdair/pseuds/WillowOdair
Summary: A date and the room number are scribbled on the back of the card.





	It's Not Something But It Could Be

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my favorite movies but funnily enough this hit me as I was watching The First Time and wouldn't let go. It was banged out in less than hour. Unbetaed, all mistakes are mine.

Written on the back of the card is a date and the room number. 6 months from now, room 1503. Nothing else. She turns it over in her hands the whole ride home, replaying the night in her head. 

He's waiting when she gets there. He's holding the letter and his face condemns his guilt. 

She tries, she fights, she meant what she said, she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she didn't try. But it crumbles, she's too angry and he's just not invested. No words are spoken as she packs her bags. Just a suitcase with her clothes and a few other odds and ends. It's not the first time she's left everything behind. Looking around at a life that never truly fit right it wouldn't be too hard to do it again. Neither of them are as broken up as they should be. 

She stays in a hotel, passing the time by drawing a few pictures and hanging them back up for someone else to enjoy. She looks for a new place. She keeps her options open, finally deciding to return to the city. It had given her the first glimpse of living in as long as she can remember.

She passes a few payphones in her new day to day. Once or twice she's even tempted to pick up the receiver and tell herself not to get on the train. In either direction, but she knows its better this way. She doesn't look him up, she doesn't let her mind linger on him because she is doing this for herself. She wants to find out who she is. But late at night when she lays awake she stares at the card and thinks about what it means. 

Its not nothing but it could be something. 

It had felt right, easy with him. Honest in a way she has never been. She shared more of herself with a perfect stranger in one chaotic night than anyone she's ever met and she doesn't regret any of it. Self reflection is hard but she keeps pushing. She changes her hair, buys new clothes, sees the world differently. She's in no hurry to find a job, she doesn't really need one. For once she just lets herself be. She does find herself listening to a little more jazz than usual, the trumpet soothing an ache in her chest, and catches herself humming My Funny Valentine while she tidies the apartment. It's been a long time since she's been on her own and while she enjoys the chance to find herself she can't help but wonder if maybe she doesn't have to be by herself.

She doesn't even need to look to remember the date when she buys the ticket and takes another train. The comment card is worn around the edges by now, a small tear where it was creased from being unfolded so many times. So many possibilities in one little piece of paper. 

Its not something but it could be.

She almost runs when she gets to the front desk and they ask for a name. It takes her a moment but then she says Valentine with a little laugh.

The clerk looks on disinterested as she takes the key card. To him it's just another room. 

She gives herself a few minutes of doubt as she makes her way towards the room, the first she's allowed since she made her choice. There's a chance he might not be there. There's a chance he will. She can't quite decide which one scares her the most. 

She taps the card with her nails and chews on her bottom lip. Each step making her heart beat just a little bit faster. She thinks back to a basement with an old man with wise but cryptic words. They could have a future. 

Its not something but it could be. 

Time feels like it's both moving too fast and standing still and before she's ready she's at the door. Her heart is thundering in her ears so hard she can't hear if anyone is inside. She hesitates with the key card in mid air, this is her last chance to back out. She knows he wouldn't hold it against her if she didn't show up. He's never reached out either so maybe he's moved on, maybe he's been waiting. Either way he's left it entirely in her hands. 

Its not nothing, but it could be something. 

With one last breath she slides the card in the slot. Sometimes you just have to make the choice and jump she thinks, taking her own advice. The light flashes green and she turns the handle letting warm lamplight spill out of the room. A smile graces her face as she closes the door behind her. 

It's definitely something.


End file.
